Feedback & Script Writing

Getting feedback from Beano, family and friends was very constructive for the project! Everyone said they enjoyed the general structure and gags, however, the biggest problem were the story length and amount of characters which I definietly agree with.

In the first 2 drafts of the script I could not get it any shorter than a page and a half (where being an animation 40-60 should fit within one page)

Draft 1

Draft 2

At the advice of Craig Graham, I decided to get rid of the father from the end and Thyra altogether, which was smart as they only really had a line each and did not add too much to the story. Also Thyra seemed too close to Ethel’s character.

Additionally, I decided to go straight into the action having them already go right into the storm. This dramatically cut the script to almost one page! Unfortunately I believe that it cuts a bit of the character development of Ethel and Kira, but it works better for more action packed humour that can fit within the time limit.

Draft 3